原來這個決定太渺小
花火不再燃燒 故事完了
原來這個故事結局已分曉
要整個天空火化燃燒 等不了
誰不惜將愛掩蓋抹掉
偏不將愛燃燒 故事完了
為何想作決定故事變完了
誰人說 等不了
- By Mr.
I am listening to this song and feeling kinda depressed again.
I try, I really do, to lift up my moods. It's annoying when people see you as a depressive person.
Looking at my grades, I am so disgusted with them. I wish I could start my college life all over again.
Of course, it's just unrealistic and waste of effort to think that time could reverse.
Anyway, I just want to make a point that I don't know what to do with life sometimes.
Don't we all feel that? Sometimes, we are optimistic enough to pursue our dreams and devote to life.
Then, sometimes we are frustrated and hopeless and feel as if it's the end of the world.
I don't know who I am, what I want to do, what kind of a person I am, I just don't know...why do I feel so lost?
I want to find something to live for, a better tomorrow? a marriage? a mission?
These questions should be asked when I was 15 or 16, not now.
What happened to my growth and maturity? I feel as if I had a set back and just became immature.
I always think, what is going to happen when I have a tumor in my brain?
Would my parents care as much as my aunt cared about my cousin? The only son she had?
I would think without a doubt that my parents would care for my brother, but I am uncertain they would care about me.
Doesn't it suck a lot when you just sit around all day, thinking why my parents don't love me.
I feel so bad, so emotional that ah leung's father passed away and the loving relationship they had.
What about my father? I don't think I would shred a tear for him if he passed away, and not my step-dad either.
In fact, my favorite person had passed away, which is my grandmother.
Death, what is it like to be dead? I thought I wasn't fear of dying, but I am.
I am afraid of dead animals, people. How would something so lively suddenly lost its life?
Sometimes, I want to end my life, but then I know some people will be hurt deeply if I do so.
Does it serve me as a purpose to live? Maybe.
I am not letting go of anything in the past. I can't let go people who hurt my feelings. I just can't.
I don't want to see them, talk to them, know their news. Just completely out of sight, out of mind.
I am simply running away from my problems, my fears. Hate that I can't face them.
Don't want them to hold back my life forever. Don't want to be the one who's feeling the tension and anxiety.
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